Starting Tour

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April 1, and it’s no fooling, I’m starting the first day of my tour with Ludicra. This also the first day of my new blog. I have in the past done tour journals and blogs on MySpace, giving away my free content to NewsCorps. Not to mention, it got creepy with all these folks knowing the ins and outs of my brain, so I quit. Now, I’m doing it again with a focus in mind. The focus is music… Making it, recording it, touring, and a basic ethic of DIY how to do it. What better time to start than another tour? It’s the school of hard rocks. It’s a hard rock life. GET IT?!

I’m at the airport getting ready for a non stop flight to Frankfurt. Lesson one: non-stop flights rule. I’ll never forget running the Chicago airport and nearly breaking my knee falling, only to miss a flight and get our luggage lost with Wolves on the Throne Room on our way to Europe. So, always get non-stop, unless it’s more than a few hundred bucks.

Lesson two: it’s lonely. I’m alone. Since I’m a functioning alcoholic, time for a beer. It’s these little rewards that make it easier.

Lesson three: be gregarious. Technically, my bass case is “oversized” and should have cost me $250 to get on the plane. Instead, I got by being friendly, chatting, and basically acting like a dopey musician. It’s not a fat stretch, really, but being stressed and super business-like wouldn’t have helped. It’s a lesson I’ve learned by traveling with Dino Sommese, who infuriatingly gets away with the most heinous comments at an airport and gets free drinks, because he follows it all with a whimsical smile.

That’s it… Next up, customs.

C.U.N.T. shirt design

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The grind band C.U.N.T., ever-so pleasantly named, contacted me a couple months ago about doing a shirt design for them. I finally got around to doing it, just in time so they could print it up for their trip to Mexico. Herein lies the process and the results.

C.U.N.T. Wilmington ConocoPhilips refinery shirt

The band hails from Wilmington, a town heavily beset by oil refineries. Their concept was to have two landmarks of their home town, the ConocoPhillips “jack-o-lantern” storage tank and the town’s “welcome” sign, prominently featured with an oil refinery. Their logo was to be coming out of the smokestacks. A cheery picture of life at home, indeed.

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Order of the White Rose shirt design

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I was contacted by a punk band via myspace about doing a tee shirt design for them. The band, (Order of the) White Rose, is a pretty damn good punk band from Hawaii. Not your usual locale known for anti-establishment rock.

order of the white rose tee shirt

We decided to do a design based on their song “Sky Breakers.” The lyrics are about Christian missionaries coming to Hawaii and “fucking things up for everyone.” That’s usually what Christian missionaries do, if they’re not busy being killed by death squads in Nicaragua. That song was in turn based on a poem by Albert Wendt, called “Inside us the Dead.” I was into it.

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Middian Rules

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and Midian suck donkey dicks…

This is the story of a good band, Middian, a shitty band, Midian, and a spineless record label, Metal Blade.

Middian, as you may know, is the awesome doom band from Eugene, formed by Mike Scheidt of Yob fame. They released a crushing debut album last year, toured the country, and got rave reviews, and generally kicked ass.

I’m sure you’ve never heard of Midian. No one has (well, maybe their 513 friends on theirMySpace). The reason is they suck. Not just a little, this band is like the crusty shit stain on an otherwise fresh pair of drawers. They have a website that hasn’t been updated in 7 years, and so far as I can tell, they’ve recorded an EP sometime in 1999, played some shows in Milwaukee, and that’s it. The one thing this band did do is trademark the name “Midian.” At least, they say they did. Note the spelling please… Well, this band playing numetal that’s already old must’ve noticed that Middian was garnering some fame.

Metal Blade Records, that consummate arbiter of fairness in the music industry, got a cease and desist letter from “Midian” regarding Metal Blade’s band, “Middian.” They may have been looking for an out of case settlement to get some pay, for all the hard work they put into touring all four venues of Milwaukee. Metal Blade drops “Middian” like a whore drops a flaccid cock and gives up.

Now, the members of Middian have to start over with a new band name. no contract, and one can be sure some kind of feeling of utter disappointment. Metal Blade is free from the stigma of credibility in regards to artist relations. And Midian? Instead of any pay off, they get to keep flogging a differently spelled name to their 513 friends with the blessed knowledge that they fucked over much more capable artists than themselves. Their star surely will never stop rising.

I did the cover for Middian, and now I’d like to offer Midian some artwork, too… Here you go, boys!

The word from Middian’s own page: 

So, we had a hell of a time finding a name. When Middian was suggested, we did a search and found nothing out there. So we went ahead and called ourselves Middian. However, in October, we received a cease and desist demand from Midian of Milwaukee, LLC. After checking our options, we have found ourselves with no choice but to comply with the demand. So, Middian no longer exists. We have also been dropped from the Metal Blade roster as a result of this litigation, being unable to sell our album Age Eternal ever again as well. The three of us are still going to be playing music together. It just isn’t going to be Middian anymore. We do not know what it is going to be called at this point. But we are still really into playing music with each other. Lots of folks were really good to us during the course of our existence and we really appreciate it. Please keep an eye out for us. Hopefully, you’ll be hearing from us very soon. We are too overwhelmed with the situation to respond to e-mails regarding this, so don’t take offense if we don’t reply. Trust that we are grateful for people’s love and support and ours is with you. DOOM, Mike, Will, and Scott

Gross Anatomy: A Silly Painting

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This painting was prepared in anticipation for the Dennis Dread curated exhibition entitled “Entartete Kunts,” showing in Portland, OR, around the second Goregon festival in June. Seeing as how my work would be surrounded largely by fab zombie paintings, I decided to follow suit and do the most tasteless thing I could think of. I was laughing outloud for a few hours before I started once I’d thought of it.

zombie ref

The photo reference. An image of myself I would use to get the figure correct and a nice angle represented. I like photo reference especially for things like clothing wrinkles. I took about 30 pictures sitting on my toilet. Glamourous.

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The Emperor does wear clothes

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Indeed, the Emperor has new clothes, and they apparently consist of a Ludicra shirt. I didn’t know that old coot was so cool. I bet Darth is more into NSBM and Burzum, though. He’s racist against the sand people.

The Ludicra show last Saturday was real neat. I like the Hazmat, and I think everyone had a swell time. Rebel’s Advocate and Born/Dead both really kicked a lot of butt.

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real end of tour

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Ever been to Bourbon St. in Concord? That venue sucks balls! Luckily, we had a good show there with the tour. I was so sick the day after coming home from Portland, I had to have a shot of whiskey to keep me going before the show. Medicinal!

The very lastest show was one which we didn’t even know about until we’d hit Denver, in Orangevale. The club, which I’d never been to, turned out to be quite swell with a very punchy and hilarious sound guy. Raul had to work, but we managed to make it to the club just in time. Punctual!

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