Ghoulunatics and Bako Bits

When people think of California, they think of something like SNL’s The Californians… a bunch of woven patio furniture lounging, iced-tea-drinking, bottled blonde, surfer types. And of course lots of gay orgies, vegetarians, and PETA protesters forcing tourists to smoke pot and listen to lectures by Noam Chomsky. Then, there’s Bakersfield. This is the real California. It’s a large agricultural town with an infrastructure not updated since the ’60s and maybe a rolling meth lab or three. This is the side of California that passed Proposition 8. This is the bulk of the Golden State. It was about time we played a show outside our Occupy Oakland and Hollyweird bubbles.

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We rolled into Bakersfield after a five hour drive at about four o’clock. The temperature outside was above 100° and climbing, well above some Bay Area pussies’ comfort zone. On our way in, what few people were in downtown were evidence of the city’s lack of support for the homeless, drug addicted and schizophrenic. Hey, maybe this place is more like the Bay Area than I thought!

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From the Ashes… B.C. Rich Ironbird

Musical instruments, good ones, are often compared to one’s children. Well, how many children are thrown in a case, plucked, hammered on, plugged into, or hanged? Don’t answer that. (Please, really, don’t.) Without these precious musical items, though, it’s hard to call oneself a musician. That is, lest ye fortunate to have the talent of Susan Boyle (hopefully not the face). My favorite, my child, my baby, my fifth limb… my B.C. Rich Ironbird. This thing is a mother fucker.

Wolves in the Throne Room (1D029315)
photo of moi © http://www.nandoonline.com/

It’s an American made (or at least assembled, I dunno) classic, with the big “R” inlay on the headstock indicating its origin in the land of the free. Birthed sometime around THIRTY FUCKING YEARS AGO, it’s got neck-through construction, a rosewood fretboard, and a simple one-knob configuration. Because metal don’t need a fucking tone knob. I scored it over a decade ago at a used-music shop in San Jose for a meager $300, during a period where “metal” was a dirty word and Prodigy was the band of the future (where are they know?). It’s been with me on countless tours and tons of recordings.

Imagine my heartbreak when the neck broke.

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Ghoulection 2012: Transmission Fifteen

It has been an amazing year for us, but ahead is Europe in early 2013 with our “buds” and Tankcrimes label mates, Cannabis Corpse. We ended our 2012 run of shows with a real bang of a weekend. The first show on Friday, November 16th, was with Tankcrimes label mates Vitamin X. The show itself was a Tankcrimes joint. Our own “fifth member” Scott Bryan was currently working with GWAR, so this weekend we drafted Mr. Tankcrimes himself, Scotty Karate. Tankcrimes, Tankcrimes, Tankcrimes!

Ghoul Metro flyer 2012

Some zipper heads might recognize this flyer as having been outside the Metro the same day they were paying twice as much to see the “Misfits all-star cover band featuring Jerry, only.” Ah, c’est la vie, how to compete with a legend? Well, you pack a smaller room with a bunch of numbskulls who beat the shit out of each other, that’s how.

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Ghoulection 2012: Transmission Fourteen

We were invited by our friend Shlak to play the New Jersey Death Fest 4 this past weekend. With friends like Shlak, who needs enemas? We met this crazy mother fucker some years back after we’d watched him wrap himself in barbed-wire and staple dollars to his head while bleeding everywhere during a set with his old band, Call the Paramedics. You never could imagine a sweeter, more cordial fellow caked in blood. We flew out for what was sure to be a night of steady blast beats and pinch harmonics. We wouldn’t fit in at all.

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This was going to be an epic weekend. We would play the fest, stay in New Jersey, and then follow it up with a sweet show at St. Vitus in Brooklyn. It WAS going to be a sweet weekend. Some colossal shit dickery occurred between some members of our band, promoters, and bookers which led to a misunderstanding that wasn’t revealed until days before the event. We had to cancel the Brooklyn show. All I can say is, my dick remained free of any shit. As it stood, we had a lot of fun in New Jersey, despite, or maybe because of, the chaos.

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Occupy 924 Gilman: Ghoul show report

Last week I finished up a poster for the Ghoul show on January 8th (on sale now in my webstore). That was the easy part. As it turned out the show itself was the real ordeal.

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924 Gilman is a historic punk club situated in an industrial neighborhood of Berkeley. It’s helped give rise to (for better or for worse) bands such as Green Day, Primus, Mr. Bungle, Rancid, No Doubt, and the Offspring. Tankcrimes Records decided to put on a label showcase there featuring Ghoul, A.N.S., Kicker, and Fucktard.

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Killing Kids in America 5: Killbot

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Hear your leader, cult minions! The salvaged homunculus dubbed “Killbot” by it’s brilliant, handsome, and departed inventor the Ghoul Hunter, is in need of an upgrade to continue it’s mission… kill Ghoul!

Yes, the mechanized cyborg was rebuilt from the remains found at the ruins of the Ghoul Hunter’s castle following it’s first battle with Ghoul. Our cult scientists added chain guns, pneumatic claw, titanium-steel armor, and the brain of the most power-hungry bastard and anti-Semitic jerk in history… Walt Disney! With this power, Killbot defeated Ghoul and their pig-faced pathetic piece of shit lackey. But Ghoul escaped back to their accursed catacombs.

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Killing Kids in America 4

Knoxville was a blast. Our friends Andy and Emily from Argentum Astrum really hooked us up with a cool warehouse spot to play along with some excellent non-pizza type food.

The venue itself was in an old storage facility and called Fireproof Gallery. It hopefully was, because while we played the entire floor was littered ankle deep with crumpled up pieces of paper. At one point, someone set them on fire. Good decision, what with only one exit. The crowd did their best to shut us down by moshing on top of pedals and such. But if life hasn’t destroyed us by now, these tigers don’t stand a chance.

We drove all night to meet up with Gwar after Mr. Somese rustled us up some spaghet on his camping stove. When we finally showed up in Charlotte to meet Gwar, slave extraordinary Bob Gorman informed us we wouldn’t be needed until more like 4. Thank fucking God, we won’t be loading in at noon the entire tour. Time to celebrate that and Merch King Povey’s birthday.

We had an okay show at Amo’s, though we decided our set definitely needed to be changed. To much mid pace, not enough thrash. We also have to load out immediately each night to make room for Gwar. That’s a little hard, but even harder when Charlotte decides we need a torrential downpour to help lubricate our load out. Good thing I demanded road cases for as much of our gear as possible.

Dino didn’t even want to bring drum cases. I demanded it. Square guitar cases are also preferred when I’m packing. And for the first time, we got amp cases. One is an SKB, one is the case I bought in Denver, and mine is one I pieced together myself.

Two days before tour, I again found myself at Urban Ore, local Bay Area salvage store, looking for something. What I found was two old steamer trunks. Perfect.

I bought some trunk case handles from Home Depot along with some 3/16″ pop rivets of different sizes.

I marked the holes and drilled the case. Pop riveting is my new obsession, so I got to work happily. I added washers, because the wood in these cases is rather thin.

I bought 1/2″ polyethylene foam, the standard foam for road cases, from local supplier Bay Rubber. No jokes, please. This was the most expensive purchase for the project. I had to cut the pieces in multiple and glue them together to make the walls thick enough to fit the case snugly. Another option would’ve been to use a cheaper foam on the outer layer and one layer of polyethylene for the inner layer.

I used 3M 90 spray adhesive to put the layers together and then line the case. I did two layers for the sides and bottom, one for the top, and three for the back and front. I also cut a bit of foam and wrapped it around the handles with some duct tape so it would be more comfortable to hold.

All the riveting, cutting, and gluing was done about an hour before we were suppose to leave for tour. I was so proud, checking the lid latching over and over again… and then the rusted hinges broke. FUCK! I panicked, and then found some fence hinges on my workbench. They were curved, so I bent those back to a straight shape with my vice. A couple quick pop rivets and I had new hinges.

It was all done in time for that first disaster with our trailer to set us back an entire day. Oh well. Now my wonderful Ampeg V4B is protected from the elements. I was not as I got soaked playing tetris with gear in the rain. Hopefully I don’t get all muppetty and catch pneumonia.

Killing Kids in America 3

Funny thing about heading east, you lose an hour when you least expect it. Such was the case when we showed up as the first band was finishing in Kansas City. Twelve and a half hours in the car since 8am, and we were still late. Oops. Let’s see how these 12pm load-ins with Gwar go.

We showed up at the Aftershock Bar & Grill and quickly rushed our load-in. Our friend Jeff Sisson, FX artist and general man-about-town, was putting on the show with his band Troglodyte. I guess that’s why I found bizarre Neanderthal skins lying around in the back.

Troglodyte was awesome, brutal death metal with tons of guitar sweeps all while the members wore these movie-quality masks. Basically, they made us look like shit.

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